I love you, Allen Walker
by YEMINKI
Summary: Well, this is basically a oneshot abt my feelings towards Allen. It includes AllenxLena even though I dun like that pairing.


Disclaimer: I do not own -Man.

And I request you to please read the notes at the bottom. Thanks.

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Lenalee curled up in Allen's arms. They lay in an open field, surrounded by no one, except the stars. No one, except me. And there I stood, with my hair swaying in the slight breeze. I chuckled as I remembered the first time Allen and I had met. He and Lenalee happened to be in my town in search of Innocence, me. From the moment I set eyes on her, I knew that no one, ever, would choose me over Lenalee. I had hazel eyes and jet-black hair that was always french-braided. Sure, I was attractive in my own way but could that compare to Lenalee's charm? No, it could not. I had fallen off a cliff, no thanks to my clumsiness, and in the end, Allen had to jump in as well to save me. Snapping back to reality, I backed further against the tree I was leaning on as Allen turned his head to look in my direction.

"What's wrong?" Lenalee asked.

"Nothing," Allen mumbled, "Just thought I heard someone."

Allen was about to turn back to Lenalee when he saw me. I blushed. My cover was blown.

"Not spying on us are you?" Allen sniggered.

Trying to hide my red-hot face, I replied, "You wish! I just happened to see you guys and I thought I'd come by to say 'hi'."

Just then, Lenalee excused herself. For a while, an awkward silence hung in the air between Allen and me. I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks against. Hoping that my heart would stop pounding, I sat down beside Allen.

"The stars are nice, aren't they?" Allen remarked.

Instead of looking up at the night sky, I gazed at Allen. No matter how beautiful the sky was, it would never be able to compete with Allen's beauty. He looked at me, unspoken words passing between us. And for once, I realized that he was smiling. It wasn't just any smile either. I have never seen him smile like that except when he's with Lenalee. But as shocking as I may have found it, the proof was right in front of me, I was seeing it with my own eyes. Allen was smiling because of me!

"You look beautiful tonight, Erika."

I leaned closer to him, just as he leaned closer to me. I could feel his breath tickling the skin on my face. We were about to make contact, but he pulled away. I was about to ask him what was wrong, but his face showed it all. He loved Lenalee, not me. That would never change, no matter how much I hoped. I didn't hate the Chinese Exorcist, I was happy, knowing that Allen was happy. But that didn't mean this didn't hurt. There was a name for what I was going through, a word for the source of my pain. Rejection. Yes, that was it. A piece of my heart chipped away every time I saw Allen with Lenalee. When I thought it could not break any further, tonight, it shattered.

"Erika, I'm really sorry. But…"

He didn't have to say any further. I knew what he meant. He didn't love me.

I woke up.

I reached up to my face and felt moisture. I was crying. It hurt so much, knowing that I could never be with the man I loved because we were in different worlds. Me, in this 'reality' and he in the anime world. Previously, I was able to see him in my dreams, be with him, cry with him and protect him. But now, even being able to see him hurt. Because instead of welcoming me with open arms, he was in the arms of another. You don't know how much I want to scream and say that I hate you Allen, but I just can't. The sensible part of me is telling me that I should let go of you, but the other part of me is hanging on tight, refusing to let go. Even though you've caused me so much hurt, I can't help but to cling onto my childish beliefs and my childish dreams. Do I need a valid reason for all of this? I do have one, a naïve one but it's still a reason right? A simple reason really, so simple, it can summed up in twelve words.

I love you, Allen Walker. I really do, and I always will.

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Um... Yeah, I know it's weird. Anyway, this is dedicated to all those people who love Allen, but can't be with him. Why the name Erika? Cos I think it's cool! Haha.


End file.
